I%26#039;m not sure if it will just make things worse to start her day off with a reminder. On the other hand, I think it will be on her mind all day anyway and maybe I could cheer her up a bit. What do you think?
Should I bring flowers to cheer up a co-worker on the two year anniversary of her husband%26#039;s death?
get her a stripper better
Reply:Yes- I think you should. You%26#039;re doing it from your heart and that%26#039;s the best thng to do. Be prepared if she starts crying...
Reply:Definately not. I speak as someone who%26#039;s suffered loss. Sympathy and reminders are comforting during the days just after, but otherwise, mourning is not to be shared. Unless the mourner brings it up first and wants to share.
Your flowers may well devastate your friend and set them back bigtime. There is no %26quot;cheering up%26quot; after a death. Just moving on.
Reply:Depends on the person. If you think it will make her fall apart, then definitely not. If you think she will appreciate it, then why not. Also, so it doesn%26#039;t seem a little morbid, why not give them to her a day or two before the date. She will likely start getting a little blue a few days in advance. A simple %26quot;thinking of you%26quot; card would also be nice.
Reply:I think you are a very caring person to feel her loss %26amp; I know she%26#039;s appreicate your kindness %26amp; I bet she even feel better knowing some one cared.
Reply:I think it%26#039;s a good idea to show her you care and are there for her. If she is still single she probably misses people doing those types of things.
Reply:I think marking the memory of a very sad occasion is a kind thing to do. It shows her that you really do think of her feelings, and not only when you are at work. It will be on her mind and you are acknowledging this and thus making it easy for her to share her memories. The dead do need to be remembered and life should be celebrated, both the good and bad moments.You are a kind friend and she%26#039;s lucky to work with you.
Reply:If it was me I would think that it was nice of you. But, I would do it maybe a few days before the anniversary. That might be better than getting them on the day of his death, that might be weird for her.
Reply:That would be pretty darned stupid. What if the only reminder she had was your stupid flowers. Let the dead stay dead.
Reply:I have a friend that described the one year passing of her husband while at work.
She felt that everyone ignored her, perhaps because they didn%26#039;t know what to say. If someone at at least acknowledged it - she would have felt that people remembered and offered her some comfort in knowing they were thinking of her. She felt alone and isolated and went home crying.
I don%26#039;t think the flowers will be a %26quot;reminder%26quot; for her - she hasn%26#039;t forgotten!
To know that someone else hasn%26#039;t forgotten can make a huge difference in her day however!
Bring her anything, even a simple card, to let her know you%26#039;re thinking of her. I think your thoughts are in the right place and she%26#039;s lucky to have you as a co-worker.
I don%26#039;t understand why people are so cruel with their opinions here at times.
Reply:I think it depends on how she acts about this day to day. Does she talk about this subject alot, or share personal hardships of grief with you and others often? I assume she must because as I am a very closed in person you probably wouldn%26#039;t know the anniversary of my husband%26#039;s death, as I am more private and prefer to grieve alone I wouldn%26#039;t bring attention to it at all. So then if she mentions it from time to time or has it pinned up on her calendar, yes I suppose flowers would be a kind gesture. Maybe support and consolation is her form of grieving. That is very sweet of you and I think she would be touched.
Reply:No, treat her to a nice lunch or take her to dinner after work.
Reply:How close are you to this co-worker? If so, then you would have a fairly good idea if she would like the flowers or not.
Personally, I think it%26#039;s a nice idea. It will still be a sad day but it is nice that someone remembers.
You don%26#039;t have to get a big arrangement- maybe a bud vase with some roses and baby%26#039;s breath. A little card saying %26quot;Thinking of you today%26quot; or something like that.
Reply:Save the gesture for her birthday.
Reply:Absolutely! what a kind thing to do. If you hesitate doing it on the anniversary of her husbands death, save it for the day after with a card that might say how great you think she is doing and what a power of example she is to others.
Something tells me that working with someone like yourself, who is so kind and thoughtful will be a great help for her.
Reply:I use to buy my mom flowers every year on my dad%26#039;s death date. Only after 20 years did she finally tell me that it was hurting her more than helping. I advise you just lend an ear if she needs to talk. Odds are she has gotten to a stage though where she can mourn alone.
Reply:Yeah do it, let us know how that works out when you%26#039;ve been given the okay to leave the hospital.
Reply:I think it would be a very nice gesture.
Reply:How do you know she%26#039;s gonna be down and need cheering up...no.....don%26#039;t bring flowers....that will only remind her. Go out to lunch, do something goofy , just anything that will make her smile ....
Reply:Yes, I think that will be sweet.
Reply:Why not take her out to lunch instead? And just ask her how she is doing. Don%26#039;t remind her of the date. And it is nice of you to remember.
Reply:I agree that you are being a good friend and co-worker by remembering. Maybe instead of flowers, either sending a card, or just letting her know that you remember and maybe offering to go to lunch with her...she%26#039;ll certainly appreciate your rememberence and thoughts no matter what...
Reply:This is soooo personal, as you can also see from the responses... some people who%26#039;ve lost someone like it and others don%26#039;t... my mom loves flowers, they very much cheer her up. She always buys herself some extra flowers on my dad%26#039;s birthday %26amp; anniversary of his death and for many years her best friend would bring her some too... she very much appreciates that, it doesn%26#039;t %26#039;keep reminding her%26#039; instead she%26#039;ll probably shed just a tear or two and then the flowers will remind her of the good and happy times they had. She wouldn%26#039;t like %26#039;distracting%26#039; stuff at all, that would probably make her cry harder! But others will want to try and forget. If you know your co-worker, you%26#039;ll probably know best or if you aren%26#039;t that close to her maybe there%26#039;s another co-worker who%26#039;s more of a personal friend to her you could ask for advice?
Reply:No. Give her flowers some other time that way they will be appreciated as a cheer up gift not as a reminder that her husband has been gone for two years.
Reply:Not a good idea at all
Reply:I agree with the folks who say it is probably not a good idea, but your heart is in the right place.
I did not work on the anniversary of my mother%26#039;s death for many years, if it were my wife, I think it would be much longer.
However; maybe you could ask her if she would like to have lunch with you somewhere that isn%26#039;t crowded (if that is even possible). If she feels like opening up then and sharing, you can lend her a sympathetic ear, without forcing the issue or having a potentially embarrasing moment in public.
It%26#039;s easy to help folks in the good times and emergencies, bless you for thinking of them when it is bad, but not obvious.
Reply:depends on whether you want to ask her out or not.
loan
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment